She-Alpha (Hell's Wolves MC Book 6) Read online

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  She-Alpha

  By: J.L. Wilder

  Click to Receive a Free Copy of Brother’s Wolf (Full length)

  Table of Contents

  She-Alpha

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  More Books by J.L. Wilder

  About The Author

  She-Alpha

  Chapter One

  FIONA

  Fiona sat on the roof of the house her father had built, watching the sun set.

  It was the one childish impulse she still permitted herself. Now that she was in charge of the Hell’s Wolves, her responsibilities were too important for her to waste time indulging in the things she used to enjoy. But this one thing...maybe she could still have this.

  Besides, she needed time away from the rest of them.

  “Fi?”

  Damn. She closed her eyes and exhaled, composing herself before turning around. “Yeah?”

  Carla climbed out through the attic window and sat down beside Fiona. “Everyone’s looking for you,” she said.

  “What for?”

  “I think a fight’s about to break out.”

  “Good God. Again?” How many times did she have to put a stop to the same fight? And she knew, without having to ask, that it would be the same one. It had been the same fight for months now, over and over, ever since she had taken her place as alpha.

  As she-alpha. She was sure someone was down there waiting to remind her. As if the position was different somehow just because she happened to be a woman. As if it was less of a responsibility.

  I can’t help that I’m a woman, she thought, not for the first time. And I can’t help that I’m the alpha, either. They need to move on to something else. But female alphas were so rare that she knew she couldn’t realistically expect that. It would be debated, probably for years to come.

  She was just lucky nobody had actively challenged her authority yet.

  Then again, they had to know she was the best fighter among the Hell’s Wolves, and that they wouldn’t stand a chance if they tried to take her on.

  “Okay,” she said, getting to her feet and throwing one last yearning glance back at the setting sun. “I guess I’d better get down there.”

  She crawled back in through the window with Carla on her heels. “What happened?” she asked the younger woman as they made their way downstairs.

  “Percy started shooting off his mouth,” Carla said. “What else?”

  “Of course.” Percy had been second in command before Fiona had taken over. Fiona thought he probably would have left the Hell’s Wolves along with Tank, their old alpha, except that Fiona had ordered him to stay.

  It had felt good to see that order followed, even though it meant she had to deal with people who doubted her ability to lead all the time.

  When she reached the backyard, the argument had already hit fever pitch, and she could see that it was about to come to blows. Percy was standing about an inch away from Wes and screaming in his face. For his part, Wes was standing up to the attack reasonably well, but Fiona saw that his hands were clenched at his sides and knew he was moments away from escalating things.

  “Everyone’s laughing at us!” Percy shouted. “Every other pack in the region has heard that we all submitted to a she-alpha. We’re being led around by a girl!”

  “She’s the best fighter we’ve got,” Wes said, his voice low and dangerous. “She’s the smartest we’ve got. Are you so blindingly insecure that you can’t see your way clear to following her just because she’s a woman? I mean, are you really that pathetic?”

  “Don’t you dare—!”

  “Hey,” Fiona interrupted, speaking sharply and putting the full weight of her alpha bloodline behind her tone, the way her father had done when he was alive. “Stand down, both of you.”

  Wes fell into a relaxed stance immediately and looked to her for instructions, but Percy fought the command for a few moments before complying. Finally, she was pleased to see, he was forced to give in. He looked at her, teeth clenched.

  “We can talk about this stuff,” she said. “I get it. It’s weird. But can we not kill each other over it, please?”

  Percy took a deep breath. She could tell he was trying to compose himself, to arrange his arguments. “We moved too quickly,” he said. “Tank was—”

  “Tank was corrupt,” Wes said. “We had to overthrow him, Percy, and you know it. He was stealing from the pack. He was spending our money on drugs and gambling. He was getting into barfights.”

  “I know that,” Percy said. “This isn’t about Tank. And you know that.”

  “It’s about me,” Fiona said. “We know.”

  “It’s not about you personally, Fi,” Percy said. “It’s not like we don’t like you.” And she believed him. She had gotten along with Percy just fine before. Before she had taken over. Before, in his view, she had made their chapter of the Hell’s Wolves a laughingstock.

  “You’re just bitter because you think you should have been made alpha when Tank left,” Wes said.

  “I’m not bitter,” Percy said. “But yes, okay, maybe I do think that. And I’m not the only one. Leo agrees with me.”

  “Leo?” Fiona asked.

  Leo, who had been standing to the side and looking uncomfortable, shrugged. “I don’t know, Fi,” he said. “It’s like Percy said, isn’t it? I like you. I think you’re a great girl. But a she-alpha...”

  “You can just call her alpha,” Carla said. “You don’t have to say she-alpha every time.”

  “It’s what she is, Carla,” Percy said. “There’s no point in acting like it isn’t true. I’m not saying you’re not strong, Fi, and I’m not saying you’re not a good fighter, or a good leader, or a good decision maker. But there are other responsibilities alphas have. Things you can’t do.”

  “What are you talking about?” Fiona knew what he was talking about, but she was going to make him say it.

  He hesitated. “Reproductive responsibilities.”

  “You’re talking about continuing the alpha line,” she said. “Passing along the gene to the next alpha.”

  “Yeah. That’s what I’m talking about.”

  “And do you have any reason to think I can’t do that?”

  “Just, you know. Women can’t have as many babies in their lives as men can,” Percy said. “You don’t have that many chances to get it right.”

  “Yeah,” Fiona said. “Well, in case it escaped your notice, my father only had one child. And that was me. And that’s why I’m the one who carries the alpha gene. That’s why you ended up with a she-alpha in the first place. So don’t act like guys are perfect at continuing the bloodline.”

  Percy sighed. “I’m reall
y not saying that.”

  “Well, what I’m saying is that I don’t want to see the two of you fighting about this again,” Fiona said. “And if I do, I’m going to give an order that’ll have you on opposite ends of the house for the next three weeks. I’m tired of breaking this up.” She turned and walked into the house, leaving them behind.

  Once inside, she exhaled heavily, leaning against the wall and closing her eyes, trying to recover her composure. So often, discussions with her packmates felt tenuous, and Fiona often worried they could see right through her. She was doing her best to lead the pack with confidence, without letting anyone see that she constantly questioned herself and doubted her decisions. The last thing she needed was for them to see how uncertain she felt all the time.

  Carla had followed her in. “Are you okay?” she asked.

  “Yeah,” Fiona said wearily, grateful for her friend’s presence. She and Carla had been close since childhood, the best of friends, doing everything together. One of the strangest things about her new role as alpha was the fact that she was technically in charge of Carla now. They were no longer, strictly speaking, equals.

  Dad should have prepared me for this, she thought, with a surge of anger. It wasn’t the first time the thought had occurred to her, and it always made her feel frustrated and resentful. She didn’t like feeling that way toward her father, especially now that he was gone. She wanted to remember him only with fondness.

  But why hadn’t he ever prepared her for the possibility that she might have to take command?

  If I had been a boy, I would have been trained, she thought. I would have been guided all my life, taught how to lead. I would have been ready. And the others would have been ready to accept me. But because my father’s only child was a girl, the pack decided the wisest thing to do was to find an alpha somewhere else.

  Tank hadn’t even been with the Hell’s Wolves that long. He had joined up when Fiona was sixteen, and had taken control when she was nineteen. Now, four years later, he had all but run their pack into the ground.

  Their financial resources had been decimated. Before, they had had a copious savings account, handed down from one alpha to the next over the years. Fiona had nightmares about how little money was in that account right now.

  And, perhaps even worse, a wedge had been driven between the members of the pack.

  Their ideological differences would get the better of them, Fiona knew, if they didn’t find a way to overcome them. Packs had been driven apart over lesser things. They had just managed to rid themselves of a damaging alpha, one who had been harmful and dangerous to their Hell’s Wolves chapter as a unit.

  What if her own leadership was just as damaging?

  What if Percy couldn’t manage to get on board with the idea of being led by a woman? He already had Leo on his side—Leo, who was young and idealistic and impressionable. How many more members of the pack would he be able to persuade that Fiona wasn’t what was best for them?

  And what would happen then?

  Would there be a coup? Would Percy try to take over?

  She would never willingly cede control of the Wolves to someone else. Not after what had happened with Tank. She knew Percy well, and she liked him, but she couldn’t allow someone else to take the responsibility that had been born into her. She simply couldn’t. It was her pack, and she was the one who would make sure they prospered.

  Which meant that if Percy tried to challenge her, there would be a fight.

  She really didn’t want to fight members of her own pack.

  She wasn’t afraid of them. Fiona knew she was a good fighter. But what if they got hurt? That would forever be on her conscience. It was the job of an alpha to protect the pack from harm, not to cause it.

  This wouldn’t be happening if I was a guy, she thought. They would all have accepted me easily, in that case. They would welcome my leadership. They would be grateful to have someone so capable and strong at the helm.

  This was only happening because she was a woman.

  It was infuriating.

  She went to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of beer. “I’m going back up on the roof,” she told Carla. “I want to be alone for a while. Don’t tell any of them where I went, okay?”

  Carla nodded.

  “And don’t come after me unless a fight breaks out,” she said. “I mean a real fight. If they start yelling at each other again, I don’t know, let them do it. I’m tired of it.”

  “You want to let it come to blows?”

  “Maybe,” she said. Was that a wise decision? She didn’t know. Lately, she was questioning everything she did. But maybe if they got a few licks in on each other, Percy and Wes would feel they had vented their ire and back off.

  It was worth hoping for, anyway.

  She flicked the cap off her beer and into the sink, took a long swig, and then headed back up the stairs. Up on the roof, no one would bother her. Up on the roof, she could forget the drama that plagued her pack for a little while and just be herself.

  Chapter Two

  OWEN

  To be a good leader, Owen knew, you had to be willing to listen to opposing viewpoints.

  All opposing viewpoints.

  Even when they were stupid.

  “We need these,” Damon said furiously, jabbing a finger at the full-page color ad he’d spread out on the Wild Grizzlies’ dining room table. “You’re being ridiculous.”

  I’m not the one who’s being ridiculous. The picture in the ad was of a top of the line motorcycle, one Owen would have liked very much to ride, to own. But he knew the price of even one of those bikes would be prohibitive. They certainly couldn’t afford to outfit the whole pack, as Damon was suggesting.

  But a good alpha had to listen. Especially when the idea in question was coming from a bristly second in command who every day seemed on the verge of staging a coup.

  So instead of shouting down the idea, instead of telling Damon it was laughable and that they would never be able to afford those bikes, he took a deep breath and forced himself to respond calmly. “How much do they cost?”

  “It doesn’t say,” Damon said. “I’m sure we can find out on the website before we place the order.”

  “We’re not going to order bikes on a website,” Owen said. Listening to other ideas was one thing, but dammit, you could go too far. “You can’t test drive them if you do that. You can’t get the feel of them and learn whether they respond the way you want them to. You can’t be sure you’re getting the model you want.”

  “I already know this is the model I want,” Damon said, his eyes hungry. “It’s the best one on the market. And ordering online is the only way to get it customized with all the features you want. If you buy from a lot, you have to take whichever one they happen to have.”

  “The features you want are all cosmetic,” Owen pointed out. “You could add them after the fact yourself. You’re a good mechanic.”

  “But why go to all that extra work?” Damon said.

  “This is all hypothetical anyway,” Owen said. “We aren’t getting these bikes. I hear what you’re saying, Damon, but we have perfectly good bikes in the garage.”

  “They’re not perfectly good,” Damon countered. “Mine is older than I am.”

  That wasn’t literally true, but Owen took his second’s point. “If you’re ready for something new,” he said, “pick up some jobs. Set aside some money. Then go to the lot and shop for something you can actually put your hands on. That’s the way to do it.”

  “That’s the way to do it if you’re a chump.”

  “Listen,” Owen said. “The whole pack does not need new bikes right now. A lot of us are still doing fine with our current bikes, and we don’t have the money to throw at something like this. If you want a new bike right now, you buy it yourself. That goes for everyone else, too.”

  “But can you imagine how we’d look tearing up the road on these things?” Damon persisted. He pushed the ad farther into the
middle of the table so that everyone could see the bike. Owen had to admit, it made an attractive picture. They would look pretty badass.

  But the Wild Grizzlies were not a pack that had to spend thousands of dollars on their image. Under Owen’s leadership, they never would be. He still wore his very first leather jacket, the one that had been given to him almost ten years ago on the occasion of his eighteenth birthday. The jacket was faded and out of style now, and it had worn places at the elbows and a tear in the left sleeve. But it was good enough for him.

  His bike was good enough for him too. He had built it himself. He had begun the project when he was only fourteen years old, scavenging parts from anywhere he could find them, and he had maintained it rigorously and carefully. His bike wasn’t beautiful, but he knew it inside and out. It ran perfectly, and it rode like an extension of his body.

  He wouldn’t be trading it in for any shiny black monstrosity any time soon, no matter how happy it would make Damon.

  “We’re not getting them,” he said firmly. “We’re not using the Grizzlies’ treasury on this. If you want to buy a bike, Damon, then buy a bike. But getting the money together is on you.”

  Damon shoved his chair back so violently that it fell over. He snatched up the paper, crumpling it in his fist, and stormed from the room.

  The rest of the Wild Grizzlies looked at each other in silence.

  Finally, Dusty spoke. “I guess he’s not coming hunting tonight.”

  “Third time this month,” Owen said. “Somebody stay behind with him?”

  The others looked at each other. Owen felt bad for making the request. The bi-weekly hunting trips were the best part of the day for many of the Wild Grizzlies. But there would be another hunt in a few days. In the meantime, he didn’t like the idea of Damon sitting here on his own and brooding about the fact that there had been yet another disagreement between himself and his alpha.

  “I’ll stay,” Joel said after a few moments had passed.